No one is immune to life stressors. But many men feel pressured to bottle up their struggles or concerns, which can create feelings of loneliness and lead to physical and mental health challenges. In some instances, it can even lead to loss of life.

In 2021 2,358 men died by suicide in Australia. That equates to six men every day as well as six families and six communities impacted by the loss of a loved one. Our annual Health Needs Assessment found that Frankston and Port Melbourne were two suburbs with the highest rates of mental health conditions and suicidality in south east Melbourne.

Research shows feeling connected and having a sense of belonging can be protective factors for suicidality (Ending Loneliness Together, 2020). Despite the importance of meaningful relationships for our health and wellbeing, many Australian men are struggling to make and maintain them. Approximately two in five men report feeling lonely and 37% are unhappy with the quality of their relationships (Healthy Male, 2023).

To support south east Melbourne men in finding connection and building positive relationships, this year we commissioned two Men’s Tables in Frankston and Port Melbourne. The Men’s Table is a national organisation which started in 2011 when twelve men got together for a chat and a local bite to eat after co-founder Ben Hughes told a couple of mates he was struggling through a rough divorce and a tough time running his business. Instantly benefiting from the judgment-free support and the informal way in which they could talk honestly about their lives and their feelings, they knew they were on to something special. So Ben and cofounder David Pointon decided in 2019 to share the formula with other men - a cheap meal, once a month at the same time and in the same place with the same group of men.

Today, tables are hosted in local communities across Australia and they’re changing men’s lives. When joining a table, it is made clear that it is a safe, non-judgmental space, focused on connection and belonging. All men joining tables are supported from the onset through an introduction to the concept (a taster creatively named the Entrée), a rundown on the structure of the monthly table and access to LivingWorks ASIST suicide prevention training to strengthen their skills in recognising and responding to suicidal thoughts and behaviours.

Our first Frankston entrée (first meeting) was held in February 2023, and now every month the same ten men sit together at the same time, in the same place to listen and share. Bill Karametos, Regional Host for south east Melbourne, says “Our priority is to get men connecting, so the Table is free to attend, and men simply pay for their meal and drink. The Frankston table is off to a great start, with all men attending initial training and openly sharing in their first few months.”

Ninety percent of men joining the Frankston table stated their reason for joining was to find friendship and connection. Just a few months in, they’re already seeing the benefits:

 “I learned about The Men's Table at a time when I was feeling lonely, disconnected and anxious. Since joining I have met a great group of men, shared our stories and feelings and connected as friends. The Men's Table is such a great initiative and has definitely helped me. I'm feeling much more positive as a result.” - Gary, 59 years.

“It is good to be surrounded by men who are vulnerable and open to me. I have understood but struggled with this my whole life and to have men opening up about fears and worries has been healthy for me” - Andy, 52

"I have never been interested in football, cricket or any other sporting activity so could only talk with other men about work and the weather. My wife saw an advertisement for the Men’s Table on Facebook and mentioned it to me as a way to have good conversations with other likeminded men. There is the normal meet and greet each month, then dinner with a glass of wine and then we discuss topics of mutual interest. It is nice to be able to ask questions in a safe space which you have wanted answers to for years." - Gary, 73

The impact of the tables extends far beyond the monthly sitting. The Men’s Table recent annual survey showed that 81% of men who have attended a table said there was a positive ripple effect to other relationships in their life, including less anger at home. Twelve percent of men who had felt life wasn’t worth living in the year prior to joining the table, report the new community has had a preventative effect on them. And the number of men willing to reach out to someone during tough times increased by 36%.   

We are excited to hear more about the positive impact the tables have on men’s lives as the year progresses.

If you, or someone you know, might be interested in joining a Men’s Table visit www.themenstable.org or call 1800 636 782.